Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs. - Henry Ford

Twelve Steps.

Pick it up. Pick it up! Just pick it up!! Now!
Ok. That's good. Good job, moved the right foot.
Now the left. Man, I'm thirsty!

I can't believe how heavy my foot is. I never noticed it before. How much walking have I done in my 32 years? Well, let's see. I'm told I took 4 steps right before bedtime on June 6, 1977. After that they accumulated too fast for anyone to keep track. I wonder if I thought about how heavy my feet were when I just started to walk?

Ok...left foot. Pick it up. Pick...it...up! That's it. And...step. Great.
Ok. Right foot again. Whew! I really am tired. I know I already went over this a million times, but this is definitely the most tired I've ever felt. And I'm really thirsty. I can't think about that.
Come on, right foot.

Ready...one...two...three...LIFT! And...step. Oh, yeah. Still movin'. Still heading toward the shade. Hello, shade. I can see you. You're shimmering...no, you're waving at me. You must have water, right? How else would there be trees? And those are trees making the shade. I'm certain. It's not very clear...I have to squint so much. Ready, left foot?

STEP! Awesome. That one almost felt easy. My left foot is lighter than my right. I never noticed that before. I know my right arm is stronger than my left. But I guess my left foot is lighter. Maybe to compensate for the extra weight on my right arm. Weird. Maybe I'll just step with my left foot. No. If I only step with one foot I'll turn. And I want to keep going toward the shade. Hello, shade. Right foot, move.

Move! Lift! Pick up! Come on, right foot! What did I do to you? Oh, yeah. I got mad and kicked that rock when the truck broke down. Why did I do that? I do that a lot...react to things that I can't really do anything about. At least my right foot stopped really hurting. Come to think of it, I can't feel it. I can see it down there. Well, I assume it's in my shoe. Ok, don't stop and stare at your shoe. Move the right foot already. And...STEP! AAARRRRHHH.

Good. Ok, no breaks. Let's keep moving. Ready, left?

GO. Pick up. Lift. Crap. Come on, lefty. Don't mess with me. You're on my good side right now! Let's go! Ssssssstep! There. Ok. Now the right. I have to stop contemplating the process and keep stepping or I'll never get to the shade. Shade? Oh, hello there. You're still there waiting. Good. I'm coming, shade. Don't worry. I'll be there before you know it. Ok, right. Don't make me drag you. Now...GO!

Pickup, pickup, pickup, pickup! GGGRRRRRRHHH. Yesss! Good job, right. I'll try to remember to soak you in some nice cool water later. Shoot. Don't say cool water! Dang it! I said cool water again. Crud!!! Quit saying coo...WAIT. I can't think about that right now. Left foot. Time to move the left foot.

Ok. Get ready. Get set. GO! Yes. It's nice to know you're still there for me left foot. Not like old gimpy over there. Let's go, gimper. Move one for the gimper! Gimp one for the mover! And...GO!

I...said...GO!! L...i....ft. Whew! I thought you weren't going to do it that time, righty. Maybe you're my clutch guy. Lefty keeps up the consistent performance, and you come through just in time when I really need you. You're a good team, feet. Ok, lefty, show 'em how it's done. Hey, lefty, lefty, lefty...LIFT!

And...step. Good. Hey, we must be getting closer to shade. Quick peek. Yep. Ok. Shade's still there, it's still hot, and I'm still thirsty. No. Don't go there. Shade will take care of us when we get there. Won't you, Shade? Shady. Shady lady. Lady Shady. Shady luck. Made in the shade. Ok, righty. It's all you. Actually, right foot, not to be picky, but right leg is doing all the real work. You're just down there all numb and slow and stuff. Help me out, right leg. Move that clunker. We'll do it together. Ready? MOVE!

My bad, right leg. I didn't say when. I will say "move" and THEN we'll move the right foot. Ready? MOVE! RRRRHHHHHGGG. Great! Nice job, leg. You da leg!

That has to be like a quarter of a mile, right? We're getting closer, Shade. I'll be there in a flash. Just hang on.